The Thin Gold Line: A Forbidden Friends to Lovers Romance by Jillian James

Author:Jillian James [James, Jillian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-09-05T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

Travis

In the long list of things someone might expect to hear after finally having the girl of their dreams within reach—tasting their skin and having them moaning against you—that was completely out of left field.

“Oh my God, this is such a mess. I just-” her voice breaks and she curls her fingers into small, uncertain fists at her chest. I don’t break eye contact, waiting for the roaring in my ears to subside as she swallow hard. Her lips part slowly and the words seem to grate painfully from her throat. “I’m so sorry, but we can’t do this. Me and you. We- we can’t do this.”

Well fuck.

I’m frozen to the spot for a long, long minute while I let her words sink in.

The sheen of tears pooling in her eyes breaks my trance and I reach toward her, sliding one hand gently up and down her arm. I want to wrap her up in the warmth of my body, but I know that would be the wrong move right now. She said no—can’t or won’t, it means the same thing—this isn’t gonna happen. I can deal with that. But I can’t deal with her tears. It’s breaking me up inside.

“Ok,” I manage to breathe, my voice surprisingly steady. I don’t know what else to say. There’s nothing else I can say. I’m a fucking idiot. I have just royally fucked this up, apparently. “It’s ok.”

“Travis,” the way she breathes my name is like an apology and I can’t fucking handle it.

“Emilia,” I cut her off, unwilling to go too far down this path. “It’s alright. Seriously. I’m sorry if I…read things wrong. It’s-”

“It’s not that,” she interjects, the words uneven and pained. “I want to. Believe me…I want to. But we work together…I- I could lose my job if we…do this. If anyone ever found out.”

My spine straightens and my hands pause their path back down her arms. I work to keep my face smooth and even, to keep every muscle in my body from tensing up as her words sink in at that realization. Her eyes are steady on mine, watery but focused directly on me, and I breathe deep, looking for the honesty in her words. My first instinct is to recoil, to peel away from the rejection and haul ass out of here. Lick my wounds in private. But she looks wrecked—as fucking shocked and torn up as I feel. So I tamp it down, I take a deep breath and try to keep my voice composed.

Uh…. I tip my face down, fighting the urge to lash out or just straight up bolt. She doesn’t deserve whatever weird, shitty vibe I know I’m giving off. She’s giving us both an out here—wether I was completely off base in feeling like there was a connection between us or not—she’s trying to be gentle with this let down, and I appreciate the fuck out of it. I really do.

The twin tears slipping down her cheeks unlock my jaw and I decide right then and there that I fucking hate seeing Emilia cry.

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